100, 200 etc words challenge
by delos13
Summary: This is written for exact words weekly hopefully challenge
1. No Happily Ever After

No Happily Ever After

This is my almost belated contribution to the challenge found by Jun of 100, 200, 300 word drabble. Of course, this is for Jun who brought us this challenge.

You died

And with your death

The life has no meaning anymore.

You died

And all the kingdoms in the world

Can't fill the void.

You died

And new and fascinating lands

Have lost the challenge and attraction.

You died

And those closest to me

In vain seek to replace you in my heart.

You died

And Achilles himself

Can't give me reason to continue.

You died

And promise of a child -

Just vague illusion of the future.

You died

And all the Demons of the World

Descended to consume my soul.

You died.

I died.

We'll live forever.


	2. Vacation for Hephaistion

It was decided that Hephaistion needed a much deserved vacation. Zeus declared a competition among the gods to come up with the best package for the Chiliarch. In addition to the bragging rights the winner would get a chance to play with Zeus' thunderbolts for the whole day.

After a week given by the king of gods everybody met on Mount Olympus. Zeus marvelled at the beauty of places suggested by everybody and started thinking of taking his own vacation in one of them. When he thought he heard all the entries, Hermes appeared, all helter-skelter.

"I hope I am not late," started the messenger. "I found a fabulous place! You can get there only by lottery but you know me, I fixed it. Besides, the deal was on sale and I got additional discount from my uncle Hades."

"Your vacation package for Hephaistion is in Hades?" in horror cried out all the Olympians.

"Of course!" with aplomb responded Hermes. "And the winners are – Bagoas, Krateros, Roxana, Eumenus and Cassander. Did I forget anybody?"


	3. double challengePlease don't & Wings

"Please, don't!" eleven years old Alexander beseeched Hephaistion.

"You shouldn't have told me that I always will be your meek follower," Hephaistion smirked at his heartbroken friend.

"It's not what I meant!" Alexander grabbed Hephaistion's wrist and turned pleadingly to his other friends who were silently watching the scene. They all considered what Hephaistion was about to do a complete madness but couldn't resist the fun of watching what was going to happen.

"See you soon," Hephaistion jerked his hand from Alexander's grasp and disappeared behind the curtains.

The prince nervously paced back and forth the corridor and cursed his own stupidity. It was all his fault. True, Hephaistion was known for his patience, calmness and common sense but Alexander knew very well that his friend's mood could sometimes flare up in a moment as unpredictable as snow in a summer.

o o o O O o o o

It all started quite innocently this morning. They had a day off from the training and learning in preparation for their forthcoming departure for Mieza. Alexander and Hephaistion were sitting on boulders a little apart from the rest of their friends. The prince felt safe enough to dream about their future together that will be moulded after the lives of Achilles and Patroclus but even more glorious and adventurous.

"I will lead the Macedonian army to the many victorious conquests, always at the front, always bravely showing the way, never shrinking from any dangers and setting the example for the whole army. And you will be always behind me, always…"

"Are you saying that I am going to be a coward, always hiding behind your back for protection?" Hephaistion indignantly jumped on his feet.

"No!" Alexander blinked in surprise, "it was absolutely not what I was saying. I meant you would be always with me, sharing…."

"That's enough!" Hephaistion was really angry. "I am sick and tired of you and your friends thinking of me as a quiet and submissive follower, unable of taking the lead." Hephaistion strode in the direction of the other boys and asked them with gall, "What is the most daring deed that you can think of? The deed that you would like to do but would never dare. Tell me!"

After some laughs and funny remarks, Alexander's friends actually took this challenge in honest and started to come up with the ideas, one more ridiculous than the other. Hephaistion listened attentively for a while and then suddenly interrupted, "This one, who would actually dare to do it?"

"Oh, no," said Nearchus, one of the most adventurous boys and a known troublemaker, "you can't seriously consider this."

"Why not?" Hephaistion asked with defiance.

"Please don't," Alexander paled, "please!"

Hephaistion only smirked and said, "Meet me before the evening guard change at the door. That is, of course, if you dare to witness."

o o o O O o o o

After some time, to Alexander's enormous relief Hephaistion emerged back from the curtains unharmed. "It is done," he said to everybody, "want to go and check it out?"

"Check out what?" inquired king Philip suddenly appearing as if from nowhere. The boys were so much absorbed in their waiting that they didn't notice the king's approach.

"Nothing special," hurriedly answered Alexander, "we just wanted to go to the gardens and…." At that moment, a heartbreaking scream pierced the quietness of the corridor. The king, the instincts of the experienced warrior kicking in before his mind could search for the reason, unsheathed his sword and rushed into Olympia's quarters, the place from where the scream originated. All the boys followed, prudently remaining just behind the king.

And then, they all saw it. Olympia was plastered along the wall, her eyes wide open in horror, trembling finger pointing to the floor. In the middle of a very big room, Laomedon, her favourite huge python, was awkwardly dragging along. An enormous pair of wings, made of gods know what, was perched almost behind his eyes, and then another pair, just a little smaller, further along his body; and another one, and another one, and so on in decreasing size with the smallest tied to the very end of his body.


	4. Location, Location, Location

_Prompt phrase: Location, Location, Location_

This is a sequel to my previous drabble "Vacation for Hephaistion" in which Hermes arranges vacation for Hephaistion by sending his ill-wishers to the Underworld. Location, location, location...

A/N: This story is fruit of my imagination, please treat it as such. It meant to entertain, so I hope I didn't offend anybody.

By being proclaimed at Siwah a son of Ammon-Zeus, Alexander became a relative to a whole bunch of Olympian deities.

Readers comments are greatly appreciated.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Letter to Alexander, the greatest of kings, from his beloved uncle Hades, the Lord of the Underworld

Dear nephew,

As you know your brother Hermes, despite being enormously overworked, took it upon himself to bring your dearest friends and relatives to their prized vacation in my kingdom. From the very beginning I intended to do everything in my power to make their stay as pleasant as possible.

I don't wish to unnecessary distract you from your noble task of sending more subjects to my kingdom but I decided to bring the following problems to your attention with the hope that you can guide me in the right direction.

I know how sincerely you mourn the untimely passing of your trusted doctor Philip but let me tell you I don't know what I would do without his help and advice in the matter of my honorable guests. They are not doing well and according to your doctor they are all clinically depressed. Please read the attached summary.

Your mother Olympia is a very formidable queen but she can't find anything to occupy herself with since I am already married, have more children that I care to remember and rarely leave my kingdom so there is no need for a regent.

Your wife Roxana really doesn't get along with your mother. Everybody was so happy when in the very beginning your wife made friends with Echidna. But your mother got upset that the snake befriended her daughter-in-law and made a scene. Echidna, not particularly picky in her friendships, switched her allegiance, as any snake would do, to a more distinguished guest. Roxana in revenge sided with the shadows of Philip and Eurydice and the former royal couple takes pleasure in following your mother everywhere and shamelessly having sex in front of her.

Poor Eumenus first tried to occupy himself by taking census of my subjects but he couldn't distinguish one from another and abandoned this idea. Then he wondered to my asphodels fields and despite the clearly displayed sign "Don't trespass, private property" ate some of the flowers. Ever since he plays dice with Odyssey hoping to win, a clear sign of schizophrenia.

Krateros started his visit very enthusiastically. He challenged the generals whom he knew from his earlier years. Unfortunately, they don't have time for him: King Philip prefers to shag every passing shade; Philotas spends all his time plotting, Black Kleitos drinking, general Parmenion preparing a welcoming party to Antipater. A few days ago the general confessed to doctor Philip that he misses his best friend Hephaistion; after that Philip felt obliged to put him under 24 hours observation due to mental instability.

Your boyhood friend Cassander was a serious concern from the very beginning. He is so afraid of everybody that he jumps from every shadow which makes his stay in the Underworld challenging. When Persephone tried to help him to overcome this problem, he confessed that the only way he can cope with this fear is to kill, which is pointless down here but may present a problem when he comes back (let me know if you want me to lose his return ticket).

I tried to make Bagoas happy and found Darius' shadow for him. This was when I discovered that one of your subjects (or maybe he is my subject now, I can't be sure), namely satrap Nabarzanes, is a liar. Apparently, Bagoas never was Darius' lover! The poor boy was so shaken that his secret was out that he run away. Awaiting further instructions (signed off by you and your second in command) whether I should send somebody look for him. My nephew Hermes was kind enough to loan me his favorite turtle to spearhead the search if necessary.

All in all, this is the state of affairs. Since the return ticket has an open date I am not sure how long you wish me to entertain them.

P.S. I am not sending this letter by official channels through Hermes. Since I didn't receive any response from you to my previous inquiries, I am afraid he was unable to locate you.

Hope never to see you,

Your loving Uncle Hades


	5. Sounds familiar?

Prompt word: familiar

Word count: 1,700

Warning: it didn't happen… yet

A/N#1 : Mars is a Roman version of the Greek god of war Ares

A/N#2: This is story written for 100, 200, etc words challenge for the prompt "familiar", it was posted earlier on LJ but I realized I never shared it here. I hope you'll enjoy reading.

A/N#3: dear friends, pleased don't be shy and let me know what you think. I write only for your pleasure.

X x x x x X

Hollywood, 4642 AD

Two years before 5,000 years anniversary since the birth of Alexander the Great it was decided to create a new monumental movie dedicated to his life and conquests. The production of this movie was entrusted to one of the most famous and talented directors of that time, Mr. Peter Olivierri. Wanting to make sure that his script will follow the life of Alexander with the utmost truthfulness he invited the famous historian and a world recognized specialist in Alexander himself and his time, Mr. Reynard Redbelly to share his knowledge and expertise.

"Unfortunately, not much is known about the appearance of Alexander the Great," started his narration the historian. "Some old writings mentioned that he had differently coloured eyes, but most probably it's just a legend. I trust the more serious sources that describe his eyes as soft brown, very emotional and beautiful. His hairs were of the same brown colour but as you may have heard in those times it was very popular to wear a wig. It is said that Alexander preferred a blond one, either because he wanted to emulate his ancestor, ancient warrior Achilles, or because his lover Hephaistion loved blonds."

"Yes, I've heard both versions, though the images that I have seen made me thankful that this fashion remained in the distant past. Those wigs looked so ridiculous and unnatural."

"Indeed," agreed the historian. "Alexander wasn't very high in statue but very strong and physically fit. Since the early childhood he was trained to become the best warrior and yet he found time for other hobbies, for example he loved to play on lyre and sing to himself. His father Philip, however, considered such pastime useless and even shameful for a future king so he forbade him to indulge in music. Even so, since the early childhood Alexander didn't tolerate anybody, even his own father, telling him what to do, and this is why he found some remote area in the palace garden and went there secretly to play music."

"I know about that," smiled the director, "this is how he met Hephaistion for the first time."

"Yes," confirmed the historian. "When Hephaistion was around seven year old, his father brought him to Pella. Left alone, Hephaistion went to explore a new place, and suddenly he heard a beautiful music and when he followed the sound, he discovered a boy who played it, pouring his soul into melody. That first encounter was very brief but the boys became fast friends and swore to be together for the rest of their lives. But fate intervened and Hephaistion had to accompany his father to Athens who was an envoy there.

Years passed and Hephaistion grew up to become a spectacularly beautiful young man. He had amazing dark blue eyes, like two deep oceans, face of the god of beauty himself and voice of an angel. He was extremely popular with Athenian teenagers of that time and even formed his own band at the tender age of 15 or so. He could get anybody he wanted but he still was secretly pining after the Macedonian prince with whom he lost all the connection."

Alexander in the meantime became a great warrior and already commanded large units of his father's army. Philip became jealous of his son's growing fame and decided to send him away under the pretext that he had to see the rest of the world."

"This is why he came to Athens?" inquired the Director.

"Yes. Philip thought it wise to send Alexander in a company of his friends and gave them their former tutor and very famous philosopher, Aristotle, as a guide. However, Alexander didn't want to waste any time and started to conquer all the cities that laid in his way. Aristotle didn't worry until they arrived at Athens. Concerned that the prince would annihilate this beautiful city as well, Aristotle luckily remembered Alexander's secret love for music and told him that the best singers and musicians were in town to perform their music. Alexander's eyes sparkled in anticipation of such a treat but he quickly became frustrated with the sheer number of performers because he never heard of any of them.

But as you know Alexander always found the most ingenious solutions to any problem so he chose the band by its name - "30 seconds with Ares" since Ares was a god of war and one of his favourite deities. Little did he know that the leader of that band was none the other but his lost childhood friend Hephaistion. Now I want to tell you something about Hephaistion's hair. Unlike Alexander, the future General never wore a wig but he liked to change the look of his hair several times a year. He coloured them, he straightened them, he curled them, he cut them short, he wore them long, sometimes he arranged them into the most fantastic shapes.

But at that particular night, when Alexander came by chance to his performance, Hephaistion wore them in the wonderful soft brown tresses; he sang his most heartbreaking songs, secretly wishing that Alexander was nearby."

The historian stopped his narrative wiping away a tear from his reddened eye. After a moment of silence he continued.

"So, this is how they met for the second time and they never parted again. Alexander shared with Hephaistion his secret desire to conquer the whole word with his sword and Hephaistion admitted that he dreamt about conquering the world with his songs and music. And so they did until death claimed them, unfortunately so mush before their due time."

"This is very good, manly and romantic at the same time. But I would like to show some scenes about his family. I've heard that his mother Olympia was quite a notorious woman."

"Oh, yes, this is very true," agreed historian. "There were even some rumours that she was involved in the murder of King Philip, Alexander's father. Now, the old King was killed by the man called Pausanias. Some say that he was his former lover and killed him simply in revenge. Others say that Olympia knew about Pausanias' grudge and muddled the unfortunate man's head with false promises. Yet others say that they were true partners in crime."

"How so?"

"We probably never know for sure but certain sources indicate that Olympia was very violent by nature, this is why she took part in the mysterious and bloody rituals dedicated to the god Dionysus before she was married to King Philip. But the Macedonian King forbade her any such activities so from time to time she slipped secretly from the palace and simply killed people in the darkness for her own pleasure.

So when King Philip refused to avenge the humiliation his former lover Pausanias suffered in the hands of some courtiers, Pausanias decided to take his own revenge. He began to live a double life trying to hunt down his offenders. He was a very skilful armourer so he opened a blacksmith shop and started to produce weapons of all sorts. Because of the quality of his work he had a lot of customers who shared with him news and secrets about what was going at the King's court. Having at his disposal the best weapons possible and all the juicy information, Pausanias began secretly to kill off his enemies.

His name became a real trademark for the best weapons in the region and one evening Queen Olympia came to visit him in disguise. They soon became best friends and lovers and went often under the cover of the darkness to kill innocent people for their own pleasure. Some neighbors were very afraid of them while others used them to get rid of their own enemies. They became known as Mr. and Ms. Smith. Smith is of course short for blacksmith."

"And what happened next?" the Director was fascinated; he never heard that story before.

"In the end Pausanias decided that it was time to kill King Philip himself. Olympia secretly helped him though she never revealed her true identity to her lover. Alexander heard the rumors of Olympia's part in the murder of his father and her involvement in the mysterious killings in the city in the past years and came to confront her. But the Queen boldly stated that her co-conspirator wasn't Pausanias at all but her ancestor Achilles who came back to avenge her sufferings. As you know Achilles was a ruthless killer as well. We don't know for sure how much of all that was true and we probably never will."

"I can make it into a very interesting subplot. I will have the same actor to play the part of Pausanias/Mr. Smith and then appear as Achilles in Alexander's dreams. Now, tell me what you know about Bagoas. Is it really true that later in his life Alexander replaced Hephaistion with this eunuch?"

"No, this information is completely baseless. Alexander simply liked dancing. You see, once, when he was young, he quarreled with his father and went to leave on his own with Illyrians, a wild tribe in the Northern Macedonian highlands. Those people spent most of their life making war on their neighbors but when there was no war they just drank and danced. Their music was very peculiar, they didn't drink wine but mostly beer and they danced in the special green skirts called tartans.

Alexander fell in love with all that and missed those experiences. Now, when the army arrived in Babylon, the city governor arranged a feast in his honor; the best entertainers were invited and also the favorite dancer of the former Persian King Darius, eunuch Bagoas. He was a very beautiful young man and though he was absolutely mute, he danced like a god. So, when Alexander got nostalgic for his years in Illyria, he liked to invite Bagoas into his rooms and dress him into that tartan skirt. Bagoas would dance for him Illyrian dances and sometimes Alexander and Bagoas danced together. It was a very platonic relationship. Hephaistion didn't mind because it allowed him some quiet time to write his songs and plan the next legs of their fascinating journey."


	6. Hunger

Dedication: I dedicate this story of the 100th anniversary of 100 words, 200 words, etc drabble writing to my dear friend Jun without whose labour and persistence it would never come to be or continue for so long.

World count: 600

A/N: I don't know if I am right or wrong and, truth be said, my opinion based purely on feeling, not any firm facts, but of all the Alexander's companions after Hephaistion, I always had the highest respect for Perdiccas. I think he was hugely vilified by other Diadochi simply because they were victorious and he was not. Later historians simply followed the suit.

The story below takes place moments before he and his adjutant died by the hands of his former "friends" and now his "officers" Seleucus, Peithon and Antigenes. Their "excuse" was that they wanted to stop a civil war, that in a great degree started when Ptolemy stole Alexander's body destined to Pella and brought it to Egypt. Perdiccas has no choice but to follow him.

o o o o o

"Thank you, Nemedos, but I don't feel hunger, nor for food and drinks, neither for anything else," tiredly said Perdiccas, dispassionately looking at the meagre fare that was set before him by his aide.

The general always envied Hephaistion his adjutant and joked with his friend that one day he would bribe Nemedos to serve him instead. In the end, there was no need for a bribe. Nemedos came to serve Perdiccas on his own after Hephaistion's death. The event struck both of them hard and when they talked about the former Chiliarch it was always a recounting of the happier days and never the darkness of the autumn in Ecbatana.

"You have to eat, general," stubbornly insisted Nemedos. "I don't give a damn what others say about you. "I grew a rather sick skin serving Hephaistion. People always envy those who rise high."

"They say I have an insatiable hunger for power."

"And they don't?" contemptuously asked Nemedos. "Alexander himself gave his ring to you."

"They say he wanted me to pass it on to Krateros."

"Nonsense! How can anybody know what the king wanted in his last days? After Hephaistion you are the only one who cares for Alexander's vision of a great empire. All the others always chided Alexander like harpies for going further and further, they couldn't understand his hunger for the new lands, new discoveries, and new people. Even Aristotle, who long time ago helped Alexander to develop this hunger, in the end he choked on the food that his mind and heart couldn't swallow or process."

"I thought Ptolemy would support me," following his own trail of thought loudly whispered Perdiccas, his voice rasp after all the shouting earlier that day. "I thought he was one of us, those who shared Alexander's vision but, by Hera's tits, he sided with Antipater and his mongrel son Cassander. Nearchus joined Antigonus' camp who wanted to split Alexander's empire from the very beginning, but there was no big surprise there. I almost glad Leonnatos died, who knows whose side he would take after marrying Cleopatra."

"Now you are going to marry her," Nemedos supplied.

"If I can defeat Ptolemy, if she can escape Antipater, if somebody else doesn't betray me. Now I know exactly how Hephaistion felt. Except for Alexander, he could never trust anybody, he could never know if those who called themselves his friends were for real, or they were sly foxes and treacherous jackals, all with hunger for the power he wielded."

"If Hephaistion outlived Alexander, would you support him?" openly asked Nemedos.

"Of course I would support him!" vehemently stated Perdiccas. "Till my last breath! So many things would be different, he would be able to do so much more to safeguard and preserve Alexander's glory and his empire intact. But isn't it ironic, the man with so much power, he actually never craved it, he had no hunger for it. The only thing he ever wanted was to be with the one he loved. If there was anything I ever envied Alexander, it was Hephaistion's love. And the only hunger Hephaistion ever had was for Alexander. And as a true hunger, it was never fully satisfied because the more he had the more he wanted."

Behind the heavy curtain that served as improvised door, Perdiccas' page tactfully coughed to draw attention and asked permission to enter.

"Your Highness, generals Seleucus, Peithon and Antigenes are here to see you," politely informed the young man, "can they come in?"

"Yes," curtly said Perdiccas and, turning to Nemedos, said, "Let's see what their hunger is."


	7. Deadline

This is a sequel to my previous drabbles, "Location, Location, Location" and "Vacation for Hephaistion".

A/N: In Greek Mythology if you get alive to the Underworld, you can't eat or drink there anything, or you'll be stuck there forever. Famously, Persephone, after being abducted by Hades, ate pomegranate seeds in the Underworld, and Hades used it as a bargaining chip with Zeus for having her as his wife (well, in addition to being in love with her). Zeus allowed Persephone to stay in the Underworld for half a year (winter and around) and return to Olympus for another half year (summer and around).

Lessons from Alexander the Great: how to explain a missed deadline

To: Hades, the Lord of the Underworld

From: Alexander, the ruler of the known world

Beta: Hephaistion, son of Amyntor

Dear Uncle,

Thank you for the honour of sending your urgent message with your beloved wife, Persephone. I trust you believe me when I say that she was very upset with a cruel necessity of leaving your side for the summer. As a result she misinterpreted your instructions and brought your message not on her way to Olympus but when she was returning back to your hospitable land. I hope you won't scold her for this sincere mistake.

As you may know, due to the global warming, this summer and fall were unusually warm, so Persephone, instead of staying with her mother for the agreed half a year, spent at her side the whole eight months. When she at last arrived in our realm, we didn't want to show your wife disrespect by asking her right away what business she intended to discuss with us. So, first, we celebrated her visit on the grand level for many days. The entertainment that we provided her was so great that other Olympians dropped by to share in the festivities.

Revering, as all mortals should, the law of hospitality established by my dear father and you brother Zeus, we didn't turn anybody away. I have to admit though, that after Dionysus joined our company, it all became a blur.

However, I am not going to use any of this as an excuse. Though I realize that I missed by several months the one year deadline that you put before me for the arranging the return of my dear relatives and friends, I am going to address all your concerns immediately. In a fulfilment of this promise, here is what I have to say.

Thank you for the concern about my mother. I know how overbearing she might be at times. I would gladly have her back but Persephone mentioned to me that Charon, the gloomy ferryman of the Underworld, lost his heart to her and she is quite responsive. I would hate to break their happy union. Just imagine if somebody would snatch Persephone forever from your side! I hope you can make an exception and let her stay.

I sorely miss my dear wife Roxana and would love to have her back. She is so tender, soft and trusting person. This must be the reason why the wily Echidna managed to persuade her to eat the pomegranate seeds and now I can't have my beloved wife back at my side. Any other person would use our family connection and ask you to bend the rules, but I don't put myself above the law and must accept my cruel fate of never seeing my dear wife again.

Ah, poor Eumenus, I miss my secretary so much! As soon as he beats Odyssey at whatever card game they are playing, please send him back.

First, I was very excited about your idea to send Krateros, instead of Hephaistion, on lengthily missions away from my court. But then I remembered why I never did it in the first place. As you may know, before embarking on my conquest of Persia, I visited the Oracle of my renowned brother Apollo at Delphi. It saddens my heart that people still falsely accuse me of dragging the Pythia from the sanctuary. I never did such a sacrilegious thing. I simply rebuked her for refusing to tell the future of my friends after she predicted my own great destiny. She relented and told me what was in store for each of them. About Krateros she said that during his first independent command he would loose the battle and life to some wily secretary. I couldn't let it happen to my trusted general this is why I always kept him close at my side. The only other place where I feel he can be safe is your realm. Will you keep him safe for me forever?

5) About Cassander. You know, I got a letter from his father Antipater saying that if

I bring his son back, he is going to commit a suicide. The man is very old and

he served my father and me for many years. I don't think he has left many years

to live. It will be cruel to shorten his life so mercilessly. I hope you understand.

It's no surprise that you still didn't manage to locate Bagoas. Your realm is so vast and I always marvelled at his ability to become a shadow. We have nothing against Hermes' turtle spearheading the search party as long as somebody makes sure that my brother's favourite pet allowed to rest often and go into hibernation at proper times.

P.S. I've heard that the poor Cerberus is often sick lately and nobody can help him. This is why I decided to send this letter with Glaukos, my current Chief Physician. Not only he is a very capable doctor but a veterinarian as well. I am sure he can heal whatever ailment Cerberus has. In order not to take the advantage of your hospitality and maintain the current status quo, I will gladly accept Doctor Philip back. I am sure you'll find this exchange advantageous.


	8. Train of thought

Just two weeks left for my big trip and I still have a million things to do. I realized that I don't have time to write another chapter for "Alexander Revisited" but I got inspired by the latest Jun's prompt "Train".

Do you remember the scene when Alexander and his friends go visit Darius' harem in Babylon? Did you ever wonder what they thought? I am, so I decided to venture inside those men's minds and provide my version. Train of thoughts of some of the participants of that scene is under the cut. Enjoy.

_Parmenion while enjoying the company of male and female beauties of Darius' harem:_

"For once I am glad that Alexander is my king and not Philip who would accept Darius' offer and I would never see Babylon…Oh Philip wouldn't accept and conquer Darius, and take Babylon and all these beauties for himself, he would leave nobody to us… Oh…. Their bodies are so gorgeous, and supple, and willing…to touch them, to be touched by them…."

Bagoas watching Alexander and his men appreciating the treasures of the Darius' harem:

"They are all beardless…. So strange…They have no respect for hair….I wonder who's  
Alexander's hairdresser?... Darius would execute him long time ago for the abomination on his head… I wonder if they have hair down there….or they go bold too?...such a pity…oh, well, no tickling then….."

Hephaistion watching Alexander perusing women and then going in Bagoas' direction:

"One would think that Alexander never saw women before, he looks enchanted as they all try to seduce him…I wish Olympia was here to rule over this menagerie…oh, those must be palace eunuchs….what is he saying?.. Oh, yes, my king is in one of those moods "Let's liberate them all!" Are they buying it? No? Damn, another sleepless night listening to Alexander's complains about conquered people not appreciating his gift of freedom…"

Alexander browsing around:

"I have to get Hephaistion into one of those outfits. Something magnificently blue to match his eyes… and transparent so that my eyes can enjoy the view…and my hands can enjoy his body, and my lips can enjoy his body….and his hands on my body… and his lips…. and inside…..so hot here…damn it, I need to calm down…I'd better go and talk to those eunuchs, it will cool me right away…."

Princess Stateira slowly going down the stairs and seeing Hephaistion:

"Great Ahuramazda, my heart is lost…he is so breathtaking….but I never will be allowed to approach him, to talk to him….if he only looks at me, at least once, to see his eyes locked with mine….what do I do?...yes, of course! I pretend I don't know who he is, I pretend I think he is Alexander….I'll talk to him, address him as a king, he is a king of my heart already, nobody has to know, let all the men think I am stupid…."


	9. Language

Title: "Language, or the real reason why Alexander married so late."

Dedication: I don't have the audacity to officially dedicate this story to the ex-CIA Chief but the drabble below was inspired by his recent resignation and the entire hubbub around it. If you are not up-to-date with the current political events in USA, I am afraid this story won't make much sense to you.

Disclaimer: the story below is fruit of my imagination and should be regarded as such. I mean no offence to anybody and hold marital values and matters of national security at highest respect.

"That went well," said Alexander cheerfully, "at Delphi Apollo's Pythia confirmed that I am unstoppable, at Siwah Ammon's priest confirmed that I am son of Zeus and by efficiently solving the problem of Gordian Knot, I have confirmed my right to become the ruler of all Asia. We'll celebrate later tonight but now we have to address matters at hand. Eumenus, what's on our agenda?"

"Antipater resigned," dutifully supplied the Secretary.

"Yeah, I've heard, what was the reason again?"

"I'll try to be short," promised Eumenus consulting his cheat sheet. "As you all know, Antipater and Aristotle are old friends, so a few years ago your regent asked Aristotle to write his biography."

"Clever bastard!" with no regards for protocol commented Leonnatos.

"Why not?" Alexander shrugged his shoulders, "they could have reminiscent on their days together and it gave Aristotle something to do because I know he didn't want to go back to Athens. Did Aristotle write some negative things about Antipater's past that forced my Regent to resign?"

"Not at all, the book is full of admiration for the former general and current governor. It has already been published and is the talk of the whole Macedon, Greece, Italy, Egypt, Asia, India…"

"We got the idea, Eumenus," impatiently interrupted Alexander, "so why did my Regent resign?"

"As you may easily guess, your Majesty, your mother didn't like the positive attention that Antipater was getting, so she couldn't resist sending some gossipy letters to your sister Cleopatra with very poisonous remarks about Antipater's glorification. Unfortunately the Regent, who got all our Macedonian spies under his command when he became a Regent, one of his own spies intercepted those letters."

Perdiccas smirked, "Are you suggesting that Antipater resigned because after all those years he finally discovered that Queen-mother really didn't like him?"

"No, general," Eumenus tried to be patient, "in one of those intercepted letters Olympia wrote that the only reason why Aristotle wrote so highly of Antipater, because in their youth he got a good fuck from the general when nobody else was interested, not even your father, Majesty."

"Watch your language, Eumenus," admonished Ptolemy.

"It's not my language," pouted the Secretary, "it's Queen-mother's."

"Well, let's move on," suggested Alexander, "I want to get to the bottom of this issue."

"There is not much to add," continued Eumenus, "the spy brought the intercepted letter to Antipater, the Regent read it and resigned."

"I don't understand," Hephaistion knit his brows, "who else saw this letter?"

"Nobody," Eumenus shrugged, "just this spy and Antipater. Well, Queen-Mother, of course, because she wrote it."

"I still don't understand," Hephaistion looked confused, "why exactly Antipater resigned?"

"Because it's bad for the morale of the kingdom. Antipater, after all, is a married man AND the Regent. He has ten children, according to the recent census."

"But nobody saw the letter," Alexander was as confused as Hephaistion.

"It doesn't matter," Eumenus insisted, "he has to uphold the high standard. The fact that only he and his spy knew about it is irrelevant."

"Where his high morals have been before his spy intercepted the letter?" asked Nearchus.

"You have to ask him," Eumenus started to get irritated.

"So, for all of us who is not so up-to-date with the latest moral rules," renewed his questioning Alexander, "what exactly was wrong with their behaviour?"

"You can't sleep with your biographer if you are married and hold a high post."

"Why?"

"Because it's immoral! Because you can betray your country's secrets! You know what pillow talk means, right? Because your biographer will write only good things about you!"

"Really? I didn't know that," exclaimed Alexander. "It reminds me. Both Ptolemy and Callisthenes submitted their petitions to me to become my official biographer. Sorry, Ptolemy, I have to grant the honour to Callisthenes. Remember, when I was young, you taught me some things."

"No, I don't remember!" tried to deny Ptolemy.

"But I do," Alexander insisted, "and this is what is important. Eumenus, was there anything else interesting in my mother's letter?"

Eumenus looked at his notes. "Something about Parmenion. Looks like he was friendly not only with his wife."

"General?" Alexander turned with a stern look in the direction of his chief commander.

Parmenion paled. "It's just empty rumours."

"Very well," conceded Alexander, "we'll investigate and if allegations are true, you'll have to resign as well. As for the rest of you, this meeting is adjourned. Please go and fulfil your assigned duties. Myself, I will write my mother a thank you letter for supplying me with another reason to remain unmarried, so that I can to conquer the world first. Hephaistion, please join me, I need the help of your tongue, sorry, language, to accomplish this task."


End file.
